At a house party, a barista was telling me she had a customer who asked for steamed almond milk on the side of her long black. “And she asked to pour the milk in herself,” the barista added.

“She didn’t trust you?”

“Obviously not.”

“Because she wanted to pour the milk in a particular way? Or wanted a specific amount of foam?”

“A very specific amount."

After the barista had steamed a jug of almond milk, the customer poured a smattering of milk into the coffee. “Like, I could’ve spat more liquid than what she put in,” the barista said to me.

I wonder how someone could come to adding 2 ml of steamed milk. Did a server once accidentally spill a bit of an almond latte into her long black and, upon tasting it, think to herself, “Damn, that’s so good. Going to ask for this from now on."

Or maybe she has gone through a process of reduction. Maybe she used to have 3 ml but realised the coffee tasted too milky.

She has her reasons, surely.

Not that I want to hear them.